Choices or Gambles

So I know I haven't blogged recently, and don't expect this one to be anyting sepctacular. I'll definitly be glad when this semester is over. I remember the end of last semester. I think if I had to choose one word to characterize it, it would be hope. It was like I ramped off that semester and was soaring higher than ever. The end of this semester feels like the ramp actually led off of a cliff and I hit hard cement at the bottom. Maybe things will pick up when I finally get through these projects and finals...

There is one saving grace lately, and that is I finally made it to Psalms. I've never actually read through all of the Psalms, and so it's been really cool. One of my favorites so far is Psalm 46 (and yes, it's in KJV, sorry KJ):

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.
Come, behold the works of the LORD, what desolations he hath made in the earth.
He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

Lately I've been thinking about choices. Automatically when I think about choices I remember the conversation between Neo and the Oracle:

Neo: But if you already know, how can I make a choice?
The Oracle: Because you didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to try to understand *why* you made it. I thought you'd have figured that out by now.

I remember back when I was reading through Esther, she was faced with a choice. After Mordecai had learned of the decree to eradicate all the Jews, he petioned Ester to go before the king to ask for help. Ester was scared. She sent the following message back to Mordecai (Esther 4:11):

The whole world knows that anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter. And the king has not called for me to come to him in more than a month.

I like Mordecai's response back in verses 13-14:

"Don't think for a moment that you will escape there in the palace when all other Jews are killed. If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. What's more, who can say but that you have been elevated to the palace for just such a time as this?"

I guess where I'm going with this is this. I believe God often times puts us in positions where we can do the most good, if we only realize the benefit of the situation. Somtimes those situations are nice, such as being the Queen, or King for us guys. Other times the situation seems absolutely untenable. Like trying to win a tug-of-war with half your team in the mud.

I would be lieing if I said right now I wasn't generally just annoyed. I feel like a traveler whose wandered beyond the edge of his map. I don't really have any clear direction so I'm just sort of hacking away hoping wherever I end up is where I'm supposed to be. I guess life wouldn't be much of a ride if we knew every little detail though.